So, our fore-mentioned hoodwink, our ruse, our get-us-out-of-here! trick for the roadblocks was provided courtesy a friend of a friend who worked for a media outlet in Morocco. This person had kindly donated a few decals with the media’s logo on them to our friend, enough to slap one on every side of our vehicle.
As “Jay’s” car was of a utilitarian nature (no air conditioning, temperamental seatbelts, and no head-rests on the backseat which resulted in a serious case of whiplash for Lydia, given the road’s propensity for sharp turns or passes alongside over-loaded lorries and Jay’s fervent belief that one should both break and accelerate with gusto) and as the decals were official-looking, we “passed” as it were for journalists, or at least crew members. I must admit that it certainly helped to have two youngish, gainfully-employed-looking Moroccans and a bespectacled foreigner in the back to carry it all off. (And for the record, we never actually told anyone were were journalists...Does blogging make you a citizen journalist?)
And so, we passed through most of the roadblocks with minimal questioning and sometimes merely a slight deceleration as the security detail pointedly did not look at us but continued to windmill his forearm in a clear indication of “passez, passez”…
However, at one of the early stops somewhere just outside Rabat on the road to Casablanca (it was only 4:30 or so in the morning, so we weren’t surprised to be halted during twilight) we were called to a full halt, a flashlight shined in our direction, the foreigner forgot not to smile and the two Moroccans put on their stone faces. But it didn’t matter; two of the three standard issue guards – reglementary dingy uniform, check; thick and bristly mustache, check; large belly straining at buttons of said uniform, check;- just scanned us over quickly with their eyes, but the smaller of their number, a gleam of delight in his eye briskly clapped his hands together and nearly jumped like a sprite – frankly, I’m surprised he didn't kick his heels together in mid-air- and said “ouiiii!! [name of media here]!!”
Maybe he’d just had a lot of coffee, but we three managed to keep our mouths shut face à nos trois
moustachequetaires; when they shortly afterwards sent us along our way, leaving the rotund little one with a wide smile beneath his broom behind in the rearview mirror, we all about died laughing. And so, “ouiiii/wheeee!! [name of media here]!!” became our inside joke of the weekend. In a moment of silence later on in the most arduous part of the drive someone would burst out a “wheee!” and send us all into fits of laughter. We may have done it in public too but we were by far the least of the odd people in Essaouira that weekend, so I doubt we attracted much attention.
Now, I mentioned before our little ruse for getting past the road blocks, which was really quite effective, though at two different points it did have some drawbacks.
The first occurred in the seaside town of El-Jadida, where for some reason, possibly the balmy sea-side weather, the denizens of El-Jedida favor putting on track suits and sometimes their veils and going for a good power walk early in the morning; this is where we stopped for breakfast (number 2) around 8 or so in the morning. We’d been on the road about 5 hours and decided to park, take a walk and have ourselves a hearty meal.
Now our friend “Jay” is from the north of Morocco where a dish of fried onions, sometimes meat and the rich, ghee-like rancid butter* smen is folded up into a crepe and pan fried ( –it can be awful or it can be mouth watering) is called “melwi”; further south i.e. in El-Jedida, it’s called “msmen”. Same thing, two different names.
So Jay, who by now is being entirely guided by his rumbling stomach and not his brain, is walking around everywhere asking people for “melwi”. And because of the wonderful Mediterranean trait of either never admitting you don’t know what something is or else wanting to be of aid to others (depending on how cynical you’re feeling at any given moment) keep telling us “oh yes, just down the street and to the right” or “no, you have to go back towards the bus station then turn left.” Eventually my husbands comments that “melwi” is called “msmen” here somehow penetrated Jay’s brain and we finally got some directions to a little hole-in-the-wall grill where the proprietor was serving up msmen, boiled eggs, and harcha bread (similar to cornbread, made with semolina) to hungry workmen. And tea.
We had ourselves a breakfast and later some coffee (humans need as much fuel as machines) at a café. Jay went to go fetch the car from where we’d originally parked it and ended up being tagged by a very motivated young man who was an events promoter. He handed Jay oh-buddy-oh-pal his business card and walked with him back to the car where the decals were en evidence, and asked Jay if he would please come film the huge party he was organizing in a few days in El-Jedida on our way back from the festival. Jay scratched his head and said “inchallah” and managed to break free of the unsuspecting promoter. I at least give the guy extra brownie points for motivation and guts to assume “official” crews would just swing by his place on a lark and possibly play the footage on the news (???)
That was the more benign of our close calls of having to admit we weren’t really press…
The one that really put a chill in our blood happened later on, at the gateway to Essaouira in the sweltering desert, at the final roadblock before reaching the Windy City, and a run-in with the grand moustachu himself, a higher-up in the national security forces…
So come back tomorrow to find out what happened, and I swear I won’t talk about decals on this trip any more!
*Smen sounds disgusting, but it’s not.